knowitallgirl

The doctor is IN

This is the first good news I've heard lately, from the New York Times: Fund-Raising Puts Dean in Top Tier of Contenders. Dean is my personal fave in the sea of Dem presidential contenders, and while it's sad that money makes the candidate, I am glad it's making him.

It's not the milkman

Dear Abby is one of those guilty reading pleasures I like to indulge in from time to time. I especially love it when she has to educate her readers on issues such as Mendelian genetics, like today:

DEAR ABBY: There has been a new arrival in our family and I have an important question. Is it true that two brown-eyed, dark-haired people cannot be the parents of a blue-eyed, fair-haired child? If so, this is completely contrary to what I was taught in school.
It has always been my understanding that a child carries not only the genes of his or her parents, but also the genes of grandparents, great-grandparents, etc.

Please check with your experts and let me know as soon as possible. This debate has caused a huge rift in our family. -- RICHMOND, VA., READER

DEAR READER: I hope this short biology lesson will silence the nay-sayers:

In the 19th century, an Austrian monk and botanist named Gregor Mendel discovered the existence of "dominant" and "recessive" genes.

In a nutshell, his research proved that a child can inherit a recessive gene from an ancestor and have eye color, hair color, skin color and other features that are different from both its mother and father. This is called Mendelian law.

You can prove it to your disbelieving relatives by going to the library and checking out some books on Mendel's law of genetic inheritance and recessive genes. Please don't wait. They need educating before their ignorance causes the rift to be permanent.

Hee hee hee. Thank goodness she's around to ask these crucial questions that you simply couldn't find the answers to anywhere else. What would we do without her? Certainly not visit a library or - gasp! - research on the Internet!

I've attached my own proof for Richmond, VA Reader that Abby's right on target, circa 1977, as I happen to be a mutated recessive freak myself:

Phonecam follow-up

I've been chewing over my post about phonecams and thinking more about what Nonliteral.com elaborated on, which is the changing reality that we're soon to be living in an urban and suburban society where we're always on film in public places, and to assume otherwise would be naive. That's a significant change in how we view ourselves as public beings, at least unless you've been dying to live the life of a reality TV participant and expecting your fifteen minutes to tap you on the shoulder when you least expect it.

But then I thought about this more and I think where the real harbinger for change lies with men. John Berger in Ways of Seeing said it best: "Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at." Women are always aware that someone is looking at them (and I would argue gay men as well, as they also seek out the male gaze. I'll leave the argument open on whether or not lesbian relationships incorporate the same division between one who looks and one who is looked at.), and frankly the expectation that now we're being captured on film in public by men who wish to use our images for sexual gratification isn't anything new, except that now they actually have a way of storing them instead of using their imaginations once they get home.

Where this gets interesting to me is how men will begin to react in a world where they are now not just actors but objects as well. Of course, there won't be as many sites and services devoted to distributing their images around the world in a sexual context (but to be fair, MobileAsses does host pics of men's asses as well!) so the objectification is not as likely to be as it is with women. It will probably be more of a general privacy/security issue, but I’d like to see the reaction when straight men find themselves objectified by gay men and straight women on sites devoted to calling them “hot or not.” (Personally, I’m imagining a site where I can post photos of all the creepy guys who accost me in bars and on Muni.)

Metrosexuals, come on out!

Let's hear it for Sex and the City watching, hair-product using, clothing-concerned, *sensitive* metrosexual men. I love 'em, not just because they look good, but because I think it takes balls to be a straight guy in this society who could be perceived as gay (and I love it when people are willing to skirt the norm). The NYT ran a great piece on the phenomenon, though it left me wondering about their feminine counterparts. What about straight girls who look like dykes? Or anyone that tries to tweak gender stereotypes? (A debate on this is too involved to go into here.) Anyway, you go, you non "style-deficient and culture-deprived" men!

(Saw it first on Zephoria.)

Stranger than Cheese Whiz

What better way to celebrate the longest days of the year than to be outside all day? Saturday included a hike to Bass Lake, near Bolinas, where we swam in cold but refreshing water and enjoyed the sunshine. Sunday was the Beck show at the Cal Greek Theatre, outdoors and gloriously warm. Beck was absolutely fantastic, permed hair and all, and gave great show. Unlike his November performance at the Paramount, he blew through the beginning of this set with mostly Midnite Vultures tracks, far more high energy than Sea Change, and even included two covers: Erotic City by Prince and It's Getting Hot In Here (?) by Nelly (someone else told me this as I am Nelly-ignorant).

The show actually made me desirous of a phonecam, as there were many things I saw that I'd love to share with you now, such as the UC concert cop with long hair and a beard, possibly the only cop I've ever seen that I would automatically feel would be my friend, or even someone I could trust. (Visualize a world where cops aren't just there to intimidate, but help!) Also, Beck fans just might be the hippest people on Earth, seeing how many trucker caps and 80s Jordache jeans were in attendance.

Breaking Update: reliable sources tell me that trucker hats are already out. So, I suppose I can change my description from "hip" to "trendy."

Killer

My roommate, Wendy, just got a super-cute, purebred Golden Retriever puppy to train for Guide Dogs for the Blind. For the next year Wendy will be transforming this bundle of energy into a well-trained doggie who will eventually assist a blind person with all of their daily activities. Unfortunately, she came to us already named, likely to prevent people like me from using their creativity (I wanted to call her "Killer" -- if I were blind, I'd want a bad ass dog!).

Behold, Butterscotch!

Phonecam Nation

One of the unpleasant things I see in my job (without going into too much detail so I don't upset our lawyers) are candid photos taken of people that end up being used for unsavory purposes. Most y'all have heard of the Girls Gone Wild phenomenon, the countless photos that get taken at Mardi Gras ("Show us your tits!"), and sadly even at Burning Man recently. It's annoying when you seen it done to drunken women in public, disturbing when it involves teenage girls posing for their boyfriends (and getting posted to the internet without their knowledge), and absolutely disgusting (and illegal) when it's innocent kids, from toddlers to teens, playing around at the beach in bathing suits, for example, getting snapped for someone's secret gratification (secret, of course, until it's posted for the rest of the world to consume online). Right now phonecams probably aren't great for most of those scenarios due to their marginal quality, but once they acquire the range of a decent telephoto camera, well, prepare to be under surveillance (of course, we are already, if you think about all the closed-circuit cameras that capture your daily activities). Anyway, Wired just ran an interesting story about this growing problem that's worth a read. And check out Mobile Asses for an example of what's happening.

"unusual speed"

For once, Congress is moving quickly and in the right direction. The recent FCC rule changes are being contested in the Senate, in a "stunning rebuke" to Chairman Michael Powell. Cited as one of the reasons why this is occuring is the 750,000+ comments the FCC recieved in response to the proposed changes. Thank ye gods for Moveon.org and Common Cause for mobilizing on this issue.

please please tell me now!

Oh my gawd. How on earth did I miss that Duran Duran are playing in VEGA$ in July? The twelve-year-old in me is gasping for air. And they're starting at the bargain price of $135! Wow, there's even a review on the site linked above of their new album (?!?! Guess I'm not a real fan anymore.) calling Nick Rhodes "a genius with the keyboards." Wow, there's even an official site. Aren't these adolescent dreams supposed to die someday? Oh wait, the Rolling Stones are still touring, right?

all night long

I never thought I could be so excited about BART finally connecting to the SF airport (and to Cal Train, which makes my commuting life WAY easier), but to now read in the Chronicle today that in order to service later night flights at SFO BART may finally be forced to stay open later is fantastic. This might finally signify an end to the East Bay Curse of having to leave any party or event in San Fran by 11:45pm in order to catch the last train home. BART's been completely inflexible about extending their hours to even just 2 or 2:30am to accomodate the late night set (workers as well as partiers); it's nice to see they finally might be forced to compromise.

meow!

I got my first taste of hit-and-run vandalism on my blog this week -- a comment on this post: "You're quite fat, aren't you?"

Now, I'm the first one to admit that the photo of me on the Segway is by far not my best. But then again, I wasn't aware I was competing in a global beauty contest on my own site. Voluptuous? Sure. A few pounds overweight? Sure, I zip up and down a bit. I was very skinny once in my life, as a teenager, before the child-rearing hormones began to kick in. It required subsisting on very little food, and frankly it sucked. I'm pretty average (and even wrote a story about it - "It's Not Easy Being Average"). I have no desire to look like a mass-produced Playboy model, and I'm happy about that. I don't think they're sexy, and I've always found people who agree with me and share my viewpoints on sexiness.

What I find interesting is aside from this person's cowardice (fake email), and aside from the fact I suspect it was made by someone I once knew (though I could be wrong), this bastard didn't pick on my writing, my ideas, my primitive site design -- he took the universal shot that people take when they exist in a reality guided by a belief in traditional gender roles and appearances -- he picked on my appearance. I don't care what you say bitch, if you're fat, you have no value, especially if you're a woman. If you're not a narrowly defined sex object, you don't matter (perhaps by default he was picking on my ideas, but it wasn't explicit).

And really, as if being fat is the worst thing in the world? I'd be much sadder if I were stupid. It's not like we're all not guided in some degree by how attractive we find other people, but I can't imagine using "fuckable" vs. "non-fuckable" as the primary way I classify people (well, I can imagine it, but it's both dull and a sign you're not getting any).

So, whoever you are -- I'm not fat, in truth, but thanks for asking. But if I am to you, that's awesome. I'd prefer to be than to be found attractive by you. I suspect we don't share the same value systems. That's ok, we don't have to (ah, democracy). I hope you find what you're looking for, instead of feeling the need to leave anonymous insults on my site. If you were hoping that would somehow bring me down, it won't. There's far, far more to me than my *fat ass*, *bulging stomach*, *elephantine thighs*, and *enormous tits*. I'm having fun, I'm happy, and that's all that really matters. ;)

segway conspiracy theories

I love it. Bush MEANT to fall. The oil man vs. new energy sources. Heh heh heh.

Actually, as an experienced scooterist and one-time Segway rider, the first time you hop on is very, very strange and not so easy, especially if the sucker is turned off. But I enjoy the conspiracy nonetheless. ;)

Windows, circa 1903

This story in the Chronicle today about the attempt to recreate the first transcontinental drive across America provides a great allegorical comparison between cars now and hundred years ago versus using computers today and (hopefully) what they'll be like a hundred years from now. The battles these guys are going through to get this old Winton touring car moving sounds much like doing battle with a PC.

Highly Recommended

When you have an hour to kill, listen to the June 6th episode of This American Life, which they filmed live recently (and I missed, bah) on a cross-country extravaganza. Sarah Vowell is a scream.

Also not to be missed is the last show on Invisible Ink, Confessions of a Child Beauty Queen. To quote loosely, "If Jon-Benet hadn't been raped and murdered in her own home on Christmas Eve, she would have grown up to be fat, a heroin addict, or a sex worker." Yow.

latex vacation

Being neither a gay male nor a bondage aficionado it's not likely I'll ever stay at The Black Tulip, but I am so in love with the concept. Wow. And this brings an entirely new meaning to the idea of a hotel rec room. Talk about knowing your niche. How cool is it when you can turn your personal fetish into a job that unites you with other people who share your fetish? Rock on.

where art thou WMD?

Here's the best article I've read to date, by John Dean, outlining the possible consequences for the Bush Administration if those pesky WMDs just aren't found, via AlterNet. Mind you, this was written by Nixon's former lawyer who resigned in disgrace during Watergate.

Health Care for All

Because, as I mentioned in this space last month, universal health care is the one issue I want to pour my miniscule amount of volunteer time into as we prepare for the 2004 elections (as well as getting our dickwad president out of office), here's the first organization in California I've located doing some grassroots work. They're affiliated closely with state Sen. Shelia Kuehl, and I haven't done much homework on them yet (in fact, if any of you have an opinioin, please voice it), but I submit for your review: www.healthcareforall.org.

corporate bullying

Larry Ellison's contemptible bid for PeopleSoft and the reports of how former WorldCom execs intimidated underlings underscore a hypothesis I've been ruminating on lately, which is that "extreme success" (if you want to call it success) is derived from bullying and intimidation and tossing aside any notion of fair competition and even civility. Good guys finish last in the business world, so it seems, which remains true as long as we condone this outrageous behavior and call financial gain at the expense of others "success."

Now before you start crying "wimpy liberal" at me, the way I've been trying to counter this is to develop a notion of "liberal bullies." An article about the rising popularity of Fox News in a recent New Yorker got me started on this idea, which described the tactics of Fox's right-leaning "shock journalists" and the snooty, holier-than-thou reaction of the liberal elite NYC journalism establishment. As long as we liberals keep turning the other cheek and refusing to deign ourselves to step into the ring swinging with conservatives, we're going to keep getting pummeled until we're either too weak to fight back or our own sense of outrage takes over. Why in the hell don't we have a talk radio show with an outraged liberal poking fun at corporate America?

Take this PeopleSoft mess. Now that Ellison's put the fear of the gods into PeopleSoft, their stock price is going to sink due to fear about making any long-term deals with the company, and thus they'll become ripe for an Oracle picking. I hope that company doesn't go out without a fight -- I don't know what their outstanding shares are, but if the city of Pleasanton is so concerned, why not mobilize everyone to buy as much stock as possible and tip the balance? Make the planned rape and pillaging of their town into a national spectacle -- why in the hell should we sit by while innocent people are ruined by greed? Start a boycott of Oracle products, get people worked up and disgusted. If you can't win against Ellison in a financial fight, you can win in the world of public opinion, which he ultimately depends upon to do business. Who would have thought that Arthur Andersen (the business) would be dead two years ago?

splat

Yesterday morning I biked across the city on my way to a conference at the Presidio. I cut across the Western Addition, up McAllister, through the projects which were quiet for a Sunday morning. I didn't see anyone on the street until I came upon two African-American boys, maybe eight years old, standing on either side of a crosswalk. I figured they might be throwing a football across the street and were waiting for me to pass. As I rode through the crosswalk, the kid on my right ran up and smacked my back with what I think was a water balloon. I was completely confused for a moment and luckily didn't lose my balance; I heard the balloon smack the ground and explode. The kids started laughing and suddenly a wave of anger washed over me. "You fucker!", I yelled, to which they responded, "Yo mama, bitch!" I kept pedaling, mostly because I was already late but also because I wasn't sure chasing them down would do any good. As I calmed down and got further away, I became upset with myself -- I couldn't believe I'd yelled that at an eight-year-old kid, that I didn't have a better sense of humor about it (though had a car been coming towards me I could have had an accident), and was left with wondering if I would have reacted the same way if I was biking through the suburbs and it had been a couple of white or Asian kids who had taunted me. Is it The City that does these things to us? I can't imagine my eight-year-old nephew in suburban San Diego pulling something like that (more likely my sixteen-year-old nephew).

gulp

I just got my first statement from Banc of America Securities (what's up with the "c"?), the folks who handle stock options for my employer. The envelope included one of those helpful little guides that explain what each portion of your statement means, which is likely a clear sign that your statements have gotten too complicated. Anyway, unlike my credit union, which services teachers and not dot com capitalists and always has "real life" examples featuring bank statements in, oh, the low thousands of dollars range, in this example the balance in "Brett S. Pollack's" account (whatever happened to John Smith?) was $5,308,314.28. I can assure you, they didn't get this confused with my account.

mmmm-hhhhhhmmmmm

Just saw "Finding Nemo" at the Metreon. The gentleman sitting next to me, who looked like a cross between a cowboy and a leather daddy, made loud "mmmmm-hmmmmmmmm" noises through out the entire film. I wanted to poke him, but resisted. The four-year-old girl sitting behind him had far more restraint; after telling her daddy loudly and clearly, "Daddy, I don't want to wear this anymore," during the first five minutes of the movie, she never made a peep afterwards.

The Metreon has automatic toilets and faucets, just like work. I felt at home.

san berdoo!

Ok, whoever contributed to the corruption of Friendster with this profile is my hero. White trash San Bernardino, CA, baby! Woooooooo! Monster trucks here I come!

zoom

Here are some grainy Segway photos. My flash was dead. Yes, I look like a geek. It's true, I'm in love with wheels.

uhhh . . . um . . .

This NYT article led me to Katy Johnson's site, where this two-time Miss Vermont and MENSA member announces "Obscene things being said in the name of the flag should make most people want to GAG!" As well as being a cartoonist for Pagentry Magazine and an author of "True Beauty: A Sunny Face Means a Happy Heart," which apparently is supposed to be a how-to guide for winning beauty pageants, she's been embroiled in a lawsuit with this dude, who claims he used to date her and that she's not quite the nice girl she claims to be. Both of these sites make a great argument for why Greeks shouldn't be allowed to cross-breed.